TMI Tuesday: “It Is What It Is”

It time to crank up another Q&A for the TMITuesdayBlog (for March 1, 2022). As always, I may be answering questions about sex and life in general. Wanna join in? Read the info below this post to find out how. 

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1. Covid dating behavior:

Are you choosier?
Are you less choosy?
Are you more frank and up front about what you want?

ANSWER: I’ve always been quite choosy and upfront when it comes to dating. So, Covid hasn’t changed that. If anything, I’m even more choosy and upfront in that situation. If someone has different opinions about how they choose to go about dealing with the Covid than I do, then I’m definitely going to take a hard pass.

2. What is stable in your life?

Answer ‘Yes or No’ . . . as in “yes, this is stable” or “no, this is not stable.” (Elaborate if you wish.)
. . . . . .

✼ Job = YES, this is stable. I’m self-employed and am good at adapting to find work.

Finances = YES, this is stable . Because . . . (see above).

Romantic relationship = YES, this is table. I’d not say this aspect of my life is 100% the way I want it. But, it’s definitely stable. And I’m happy with that . . . for now. 

Economy of your country = NO, this is not stable. I don’t know that any country’s economy can say it’s ‘stable’. At some point, people are going to realize that everything that happens in the world often has an impact on other countries around the world . . . either in a small way or a big way. And except in a few situations, a wave in one country has some kind of ripple effect and is felt all over the world. 

Mental health = YES, this is stable. I make a point to cut out toxic or problematic people and situations out of my life. That has contributed significantly to my mental health stability.

Physical health = YES, this is stable . . . as in, I am experiencing the stable decline of body function and cell regeneration resulting from the aging process. Haha!

3. Have you lived in a different country than the one you were born? Did you have to learn the language?

ANSWER: Yes, I have. It was quite the experience. I hope to do it again. And, yes, I did learn the language. There is nothing more scary than being a functionally illiterate adult in a foreign country. I was very motivated to not remain that way.

4. Can you speak any other languages?

ANSWER: Yes, I can speak many languages other than English. However, if by ‘speak’ one means ‘have fluency in a foreign language’, then I can realistically say that I only speak one foreign language, which is Spanish. However, I studied a different foreign language for years in high school and college. The fluency in that language returns easily with practice. But, I have the opportunity to use/hear Spanish more often in the part of the US I live in . . . so those language skills tend to stay in use.

In case you are wondering, I know how to say a few words and phrases in Norwegian, Swedish, Japanese, Chinese, German, Italian, Galician/Gallego, Catalan, and Portuguese.

5. How do you manage your fears?

ANSWER: By keeping them in perspective. Some fears are rational and some are not. Some fears are imminent and some are not. Having a good grasp on which are which — and taking steps to avoid and/or manage the situations that cause them — makes all the difference.

BONUS: What would you pick to add to your coffee, Baileys, Amaretto, or Whisky/Whiskey?

ANSWER: Absolutely none of the above. I don’t drink coffee . . . and I rarely drink alcohol. (Though Baileys looks like it would taste delicious with ice cream. I’d be down for trying a spoonful of a Baileys ice cream float.) 


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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your web space (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to TMITuesdayBlog from your website!

___tmituesdayblog

TMI Tuesday: The Gift of Awareness

It time to crank up another Q&A for the TMITuesdayBlog (for February 15, 2022). As always, I may be answering questions about life in general . . . and sex in particular. (So read at your own risk.) Wanna join in? Read the info below this post to find out how. Enjoy!

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1. One of my ideas is to someday create _____ .

ANSWER: Digitized versions of all the mixed tapes I created in the 80s and 90s. And, yes, I still have many of my favorite ones . . . mostly because I spent hours collecting the music as well as designing, hand-drawing/painting, or creating collages for the covers. To me, they represent movie soundtracks to a given time in my life. But, I think it’s about time to get rid of some of the physical stuff I’ve been carrying around for decades. This includes the functional ‘boom-box’ and Sony Walk-man that I used to play them with. #ForeverAn80sKid #TimeToCleanTheBasement

2. Do you travel lightly?

ANSWER: Yes. And . . . (a not-so-humble brag is to follow) I happen to be very good at it. But, then having worked as a flight attendant . . . I learned a thing or two about that.

3. How would you create the best dressed baked potato?

ANSWER: With decadent deliberation…and the addition of butter, plain Greek yogurt, chives or green onion, garlic powder, salt, and pepper . . . all topped off with a sprinkling of cheddar cheese or feta.

4. The best thing you tasted over the weekend was _____ .

ANSWER: A Smokehouse BBQ Chicken Sandwich. From Panera’s (a bakery/cafe chain). 

5. What do you wish you had payed attention to?

ANSWER: Time passing (while I was younger). With this year marking another decade that I’ve been on this planet, I have been blessed with the gift of awareness of time passing as well as the discernment to make the most of however much of it I have left. That kind of insight makes living far more meaningful to me now, particularly in regards to the people I choose to spend time with. Sometimes, I wonder how much exuberance I missed out on when I took time for granted as a younger person. 


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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your web space (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to TMITuesdayBlog from your website!

___tmituesdayblog

TMI Tuesday: A Closer Look At Intimacy

It time to crank up another Q&A for the TMITuesdayBlog (Feb 8, 2022). As always, I may be answering questions about sexuality and life in general. Wanna join in? Read the info below this post to find out how. 

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1. How do you survive an intimacy famine?

ANSWER: By finding/reaching out to someone I feel comfortable being intimate with. I mean…it’s really that simple on some levels. I think of intimacy as a need that is essential to good health and well-being. So, in the same way that some people prioritize deep breathing, drinking water, and proper nutrition…I make daily efforts to find worthy connection and develop trust with a select few individual. If I can not connect with those people, then I use that time to read, research information, and have conversations that support and expand my understanding of sexuality and good communication skills.

2. The loss of which one of these would most affect your mental health or outlook on life: (a) Loss of physical intimacy or (b) Loss of emotional intimacy?

ANSWER: (B.) The loss of emotional intimacy. Throughout various times in my life, I have gone long stretches of time without various aspects of physical intimacy and have been, more or less, fine. (The most recent being a year spent in lock-down due to the pandemic, naturally.) However, during those times, I definitely made sure my emotional intimacy reserves were routinely stocked by communicating daily (via text, voice chat, email, or snail mail) with people with which I felt comfortable do so. 

3. Gives us a tip on how to get more intimacy in our day-to-day lives.

ANSWER: Figure out exactly what your intimacy needs are. Then set up your life in a way that ensures you get as much of your needs met as you can schedule or afford. As independent adults, most of us are capable of making choices regarding how our time is spent and where our energy and money goes.

To me, the quality of my relationships far exceeds my need for material things. So, if I have to choose between interacting with someone who means a lot to me or doing any other (non-essential) activity on my expansive To-Do/To-Read/To-Watch list…it’s a no-brainer decision for me which I’ll find the better use of my time. But, that’s just me. Everyone needs to figure out those kind of choices for themselves.

4. Do you think modern technology helps or hinders intimacy?

ANSWER: That depends on how a given individual feels comfortable experiencing intimacy. Some people just aren’t wired to be social in the typical ways that most are. So for them, technology is a great tool to connect with people in a way that’s likely easiest for them — especially if the alternative is to have little to no connections with people at all. Not to mention, someone who struggles with socializing or forming close relationships can easily find help, resources, and service providers online…which makes technology a very helpful tool. Now, whether that need is met physically, emotionally, online, face-to-face, or with the help of a life-size (sex?) doll…that’s really up to the person in question to figure out.

Having said that, I do think technology is hindrance for those who are capable of interacting and socializing via analog means…but choose not to because it’s easier — and takes less effort — to connect using technology instead. In my opinion, growing numbers of people in the world are experiencing a lack of physical and emotional intimacy because many who are able to socialize without as many difficulties and/or neurological challenges are choosing to not go out and make intimate connections with people IN REAL LIFE. ‘Social muscles’ have to be exercised, just like ever other skill in life. And trust and connections tend to be more genuine and authentic when it happens between someone you know as an actual living person who’s hand you’ve touched as well as shared actual details about real-life.

5. Would you utilize the services of a professional cuddler?

ANSWER: No, I would not. Though I am glad there are people out in the world who provide this service to those who need it, I’m very particular about who I touch as well as who I’d allow to touch me. Beyond casual hugs, hand shakes, fist bumps, and high-fives — oh, and cheek-kisses when traveling abroad — I don’t want random people in my personal space. The exception would be lovers, close friends, and family, of course. But, I’d not be interested in being physically intimate with a stranger or ‘professional’ of any kind.

Still, having said all that, there are a few select acts and specific situations in which I’d have no issues at all interacting sexually with someone I didn’t know well. (You are dying to know which ones I’m referring to, aren’t you? Haha! Sorry, that’s classified information that I share only with those within my intimate circle. 😉)


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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your web space (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to TMITuesdayBlog from your website!

___tmituesdayblog

TMI Tuesday: HellaBella’s My Rapper’s Name

I’m popping in — I know…it’s been a while — to partake in a tasty sesh of Q&A for the TMITuesdayBlog (February 1, 2022). As always, I may be answering questions about sex and life in general. Wanna join in? Read the info below this post to find out how. 

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1. Does anyone still eat Jell-o? Do you?

ANSWER: I definitely do NOT eat Jell-o. I am not a bit fan of Jell-o. It was served far too often during my childhood…to the point that my siblings and I, as youngsters, would take it into the bathroom and have a fight with it in the shower…for easy clean-up. My mom didn’t know for years. And we were to stupid too realize that by making the Jell-o disappear, my mom only made more of it, assuming we were eating it. Haha!

2. Tell us about 10 things that scare you.

ANSWER: 10 things!? Really?!

  1. People I don’t know standing/being near me without a mask on
  2. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time
  3. Dying a painful death
  4. Being kidnapped and sold into the sex slave trade
  5. Living in a country where I don’t speak/read/understand the language.
  6. That Hollywood will remake all my favorite movies…and they will somehow ruin the originals for me
  7. Eating contaminated food or food that’s been tampered with (e.g., spit in, etc.)
  8. People who don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom
  9. Dumb-asses who drive too fast in snowy/icy conditions
  10. Frogs (because they are just gross)

3. If you were a rap artist what would your stage name be?

ANSWER: HellaBella The Whip. Granted, I did use the rapper name generator to answer this question. However, ‘The Whip’ part at the end was totally a work of my own imagination. 😏

4. What is one thing you have had since childhood?

ANSWER: Dimples?! But seriously, other than photos…the only other thing I can think of is my love for roller-skating. That has been with me since childhood and will likely remain until the very end. (And yes, I still occasionally go skating, even at my age.)

5. Romantically speaking I am an A+ when it comes to _____ .

ANSWER: Spending quality-time. When I care about someone, I will go out of my way to make sure that person has my undivided attention when they need it. Whether that’s just hanging out watching TV or supporting/participating in a hobby or pastime they enjoy…I’m there with bells on. (Not the pants, mind you.)

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your web space (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to TMITuesdayBlog from your website!

___tmituesdayblog